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“Ah yes” I hear you say yet another instalment of me wonderful talkin bollox page. Hopefully I’ll be more accurate with my info this time as I appear to have gotten EVERYTHING wrong! So I really was talking shit. Ha!

I would like to commence this Odesea of the mind with an in-depth analysis of the new Lena Marlin song - I think.. Jules’ll correct me if I’m wrong being HMV guy, but I think she says I’ve got chorizo but I want balthasar. Any comment on that?

Also the Levi’s twist jeans advert. On my return from climbing into the attic at the Dogstar with Alice, Georgie and Becca I slit my hand, ( the perpetrator probably being a nail with a good measure of rust on it) and now I’m gonna scar cos it’s a proper gash like. But anyway it looks like that s-shaped thing from the levi’s engineered jeans maybe next I’ll part my hair like that and feck up me teeth and have cosmetic surgery on me bellybutton.

Weird situation to find yourself in really. Nearly as bad me and Alice’s chicken shop door handle fiasco. Poor baby Alice though did the same as me but it looked like she slit her wrists.

Awwwwwwwwwwww. She bled everywhere and had to go to get a plaster.

God knows how they thought up that one.... all I knows is that I went for a slash and saw these legs dangling from the ceiling so then joined them with my beer. And got dust soot stuff all over my face ..... bloody chimney sweep. Actually that’s a point I seem to have some big fetish for roofs and attics whilst drunk recently hmmmm. Maybe I’ll try a belfry next time and ring all the bells like quasimodo. Yeah.

Speaking of graveyards                                                             

RANDOM COMMENT ALERT - in Thornton heath there’s this road called Keeling road. I thought it was quite like Alice Keeling. This should interest maybe nobody ‘cept the Alices as they are both Alice Mary’s. Keeling out of interest means to stumble or keel plunge totter I do like the thesaurus.

God I’m gonna stop talking about Alice now... slight obsession me thinks.

So the week that was ………

Well, Gemma’s back and now living in Battersea where I shall go tonight for jokes. She’s working in a pub near St James’ park if anyone wants to come visit with me sometime.

Also tomorrow I plan to see Emily Mitchell in Allen’s head in Dulwich any takers for that?

In unrelated news Christine is pissed off with me.... she keeps telling Simon that I’m condescending rea-lly Chris-tine rea-lly? It was rather silly of you to tell Simon wasn’t it you nit seeing as SIMON HAS BY FAR THE BIGGEST...........<<&*)E$%!$£&)()M<M<&%&(_

Sorry

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Having technical problems.

Do not adjust your monitor as usual service will commence in 5 four 3 2 won.

Um yes so Paolo’s thing peter is threatening me with photographic evidence

OH GOD THEY’RE PLAYING THE SHIT VERSION OF A-HA!

A1 BASTARDS!

Apparently I did some really embarrassing things which I don’t remember so what’s new.

All of you guys who didn’t cum you boring sods.....

Oh, missed Jules and Jo dancing their sox off. What was Jo on all luffed up I guess Jules.... (note to self : I wonder if he’ll edit this bit out)

John, Nick, Chris and other karaoke lads you completely killed all them songs man!

Leia apologises for buggering off, dat is k, cos I found it hilarious that she dropped the last of her hash in the Thames. Not too sure how. Go figure.

Peter’s lost his bus pass if anyone picked it up.

Gotta go in a ticket so I will just say

Chris and Alice you were both fucked you naughty little gatecrashers of the partay upstairs.

Dilly’s leaving for Uni on Wednesday.

Simon’s birthday is this weekend - what the hell are you doing?

Mary’s waitressing thing is actually this weekend as well.

Oh no!!!!!

Can’t end without mentioning big brother.

ANNA SHOULD HAVE WON. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. BIG UP LESBIAN NUNS. Also Chris cheers very much for those big fat lesbo comments last night.... they get funnier every time!

Gotta fly Mr Spider.

UNTIL next week your intrepid reporter is signing off

ta ta. Also, I intend to be in a better mood this week and shall be making up for the complete lack of sleep last week.

Oh, and happy 21 birthday Ramsey last wed.

 

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